Grace. It is the most important word in the world to me. It brings me so much happiness. It’s changed the way I live my life- and yet I find myself feeling guilty about it sometimes.
I wonder, am I just wasting my time? Handing out kindness to everybody I meet has always been exhausting, and I often find myself crushed by the people who have already hurt me so many times even when I continue to forgive them. I don’t think that’s something to be sorry for. The most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me came from somebody who used to love me very much: “you are too soft. Leave me alone, I want you gone. You’re so damn weak.” He said it flat and bitter, as if it was disgusting to him. That was when I realized that it was time to walk away, when my kindness towards him became a glaring flaw in his eyes. I still allowed that sentence to cut deep though. For months I was thinking why am I like this? I’ve always been unable to hold a grudge, suddenly this became the most ugly thing about myself.
Over time, I’ve realized that this is not the case at all. In my opinion, forgiveness is beautiful. I am a forgiving person and I think that is beautiful. The way I see it, the world needs more love. Everybody in this world needs more love. Grace is undeserved; that’s what makes it so amazing. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than that. To be soft, warm, and loving, no matter the circumstance? That is incredible. Staying kind and humble shows more strength than lashing out ever will. Although not everyone will respond the way that you wanted them to, be sure of yourself. Be soft. It always looks beautiful, and if you have to walk away you can look back and know that you brought only love and light to the circumstance. You are never in the wrong for being kind; in fact, you could not be more right.
You did not waste your love, ever.
it takes grace
to remain kind
in cruel situations
– rupi kaur