praying for the next girl

I’m not your jaded ex, but these days I am mourning. Not for you, but for the girl who you’ve claimed as your own, after me. 

I know the sadness she must face. I know the heartache, the tears, and the hopelessness she must be feeling. I know the rejection, the shame, and the fear. I know the ins and outs of what she endures.

I wake up in a cold sweat because of the things you’ve done- and while it is just a bad memory for me, it is a bad reality for her. I mourn for every girl the world has lost to you, that is the root of the problem. I know your ways, your style of tormenting- I wouldn’t wish your version of hell on anybody.

Just know that I feel what she feels- that is on you. When she is mourning her happiness, I mourn with her. When you degrade and berate her, I hope you hear me crying right along with her. When she is locked in her bathroom asking God why, I am begging the exact same question. I pray that it’s different for her. I pray that she knows her worth despite the awful things you say. I pray she stands up for herself despite the lies and manipulation. I pray that you finally see the beauty in the people that you destroy. I pray that she will never know the feeling of having your hand locked around her throat. Yes- it was her choice, and she chose you. I just hope with everything in me that she knows to choose to walk away before she gets too deep, the way that I once did.

Even though I’m free, I’ll always be praying for the next girl.

-Alicia

The problem was, she wanted to be loved so badly she couldn’t tell it wasn’t love

– Leo Christopher

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